Why You Should Ditch New Year’s Resolutions — and What to Do Instead
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Welcome to the new year! 2020 and all its resolutions are underway. Each year, many of us set out to make significant life changes. Maybe we want to lose 15 pounds, pay off debt, or eat more salads. But all too soon, the excitement fizzles, and we find ourselves sliding back into old habits.
If this hits close to home, you’re not alone — some studies estimate that 80% will fail their resolutions by February.
Why does this happen? It’s not because you’re incapable or forgetful. It’s not because you don’t work hard. The problem may come before you even hit the gym or head to the grocery store. It may be with the actual setting of the resolution itself.
But what if you tweaked your mindset in a way that gave you more empowerment and grace? What if you reframed how you set goals? What if, instead of resolutions, you set intentions for the new year?
What’s the Difference in an Intention and a Resolution?
We know all about resolutions. They’re those big commitments you make at the beginning of the year to get back on track to being your best self. Whether it’s around fitness, finances, or fun, resolutions are often practical and action-oriented.
An intention is different. It’s more of a guiding principle for how you want to be or live. Intentions are “a wish or desire that you discern for yourself.” They also differ from resolutions in the following ways:
Intentions reflect the “what” — not the “how.” Resolutions tend to focus on the outcome while intentions point you where you want to go. There’s a mindset element at play. For example, maybe your resolution is to lose 25 pounds. You’re fixated on that number. As your days and weeks pass, you keep comparing where you are to where you want to be. This gap can be discouraging and prevent you from celebrating small successes along the way. One option is to set an intention of “I want to have a healthier relationship with my body.” This type of mindset builds in flexibility and frees you from the pressure of comparison.
Intentions root themselves in the present; resolutions tend to be longer-term. The reality is that most of our time is spent on the journey to our future destination. Sometimes the unknown of the future can feel daunting and cause anxiety. Being in the present will ground you, and setting intentions helps to keep you there.
Intentions should focus on the positive. Resolutions tend to be framed around the negative. Lose weight. Quit smoking. Spend less. When making resolutions, the temptation is to focus on what you dislike and want to change. And while the heart behind these changes may be good, how you frame them is powerful. Adjusting “I’m going to spend less” to “I am pursuing healthy habits with money” can help keep you more positive, optimistic, and motivated.
How Can You Benefit From Setting an Intention?
Setting intentions brings benefits that resolutions do not. They allow for flexibility, whereas resolutions tend to be more rigid. Having a more open or adaptable mindset takes pressure off you. It can also help you push through the challenging times and encourage you to continue on longer in your goals.
Intentions also create more room for grace. Resolutions have an “all-or-nothing,” “success-or-fail” dynamic, while intentions allow for more forgiveness and compassion. If you stumble, you can dust yourself off — you don’t have to give up or start again next year. Intentions support the pursuit of becoming a better you. In essence, they honor the effort and the process.
How Do I Set an Intention?
Intentions sound pretty amazing by now, right? But how do you set one? The relieving news is that there’s no one right way to set an intention as long as it helps you grow. Here are a few foundation tips to get you going:
Ensure your intention is internally motivated. When your goals are externally driven, you risk running towards something for someone else. This can be an energy drainer setting goals for you — not others — will give you an energy boost and leave you feeling more inspired.
Link your intention to a core value. When you link your values to your goals, you have a higher potential for boosting performance. This is because doing so connects your plan to something deeper within you — something of intrinsic worth and importance.
Select intentions that are empowering and positive. Language is powerful. Choose words that lift you up, inspire you, and leave room for flexibility and grace. How you talk to yourself matters, so focus on empowering yourself. This will help you manage the discomfort of change. It’s the difference between “I can never have that soda” and “I choose not to drink soda right now.”
Regularly set daily, weekly, or monthly intentions. Resolutions can feel big and laborious. It’s easy to get overwhelmed by them. Shortening up your timeline can help take off some of the pressure. It can also make your goals feel more manageable. Small steps, done consistently and over time, bring you not only success but also milestone celebrations along the way.
Keep Moving Forward
Setting intentions have the potential to help you rock your goals. Life still happens, though. Circumstances occur beyond our control (or maybe we just hit the snooze button one too many times). We can soon find ourselves off track.
When this happens, remember to show yourself some kindness, and pick back up where you left off. Intentions invite you to be compassionate — to forgive yourself, be encouraged, and keep moving forward.
And you don’t have to wait until next year to begin! As the saying goes, “the best time to start is when you’re ready.” We invite you to sit down, clear your mind, and take a few moments to set your intentions for 2020.
We at Renew & Restore Wellness are here to support you in your goals. You got this!
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Ibid.
(2020, January 1). Speaking of Psychology - American Psychological. Retrieved January 4, 2020, from https://www.apa.org/research/action/speaking-of-psychology/
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